Dealing with Negativity from Those You Love


A subscriber to my blog recently asked me the following, 

“How do I deal with negativity exhibited by people I love?”

This is a great question and one that many of you can probably relate to. Dealing with negativity from others can be extremely difficult, even more so when it involves a family member.

The answer is presence, compassion, and love.

Often, people are negative because they are in psychological and/or emotional pain. Trying to persuade or coax them out of their negative state can sometimes create more negativity.

I recommend the following…

Take a second to become present.

In becoming present, your ego is taken out of the equation. This will make it easier for you to see their negativity objectively. It will also assist you in not being offended or at risk of taking personally what they are saying. If you find your ego wanting to engage, simply focus on your breathing and rejoin the present.

They may not realize you are being present with them, but they will sense that in that moment, they have your full attention. Your presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give to others. You have the divine within you. Give it freely.

Just listen.

You don’t need to say anything. Just listen to them while being present. In doing so, you are giving them the freedom to express themselves without judgment. Being able to express your pain or frustration to someone and not feel judged is also a wonderful gift.

While listening with presence and without judgment, send them unconditional love and compassion.

Open your heart and send them loving thoughts, such as “I love you. I send you love and compassion.” You might even imagine a loving light that envelopes and comforts them.

Thoughts contain energy and loving thoughts are very powerful. Shower them with gentle, loving thoughts, and best wishes.

If you feel the need to speak, keep it simple and say, “I love you. I’m here for you.”

By offering presence, you give another the freedom of expressing their suffering without judgement, which also allows them to gain a greater understanding of their pain. By offering love and compassion, you assist them in transforming and healing.

This is something you can practice with your own pain and suffering. Practice being present, loving, and compassionate towards yourself.

I encounter so many people who are really hard on themselves. I can be pretty hard on myself too, so I speak from experience.

The next time you are feeling negative, instead of indulging it, be present and embrace it with love and compassion. Acknowledge it. Tell your suffering that your higher self is here to assist in transforming and healing it.

Be very present to your suffering and nurture it with love and compassion.

If you can do this, I suspect in due time you will begin to observe the magnitude of your suffering begins to diminish until it’s no longer a strong feeling, but rather an unpleasant thought that you are then able to be more objective to and release, as you gain the understanding it is tied to your ego and not your true self, and not worth clinging to. 

In this way, we allow for the transformation of our suffering and we grow stronger in presence.



P.S. Please leave a comment or question below and feel free to share. 


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